My little bookworm

Today was a day I have marked in my Mama's Marvelous Memories!  It was 4:40 and the rain had just stopped.  Me and the three little people got in the car and headed to the library.  As I wiped the sweat from my forehead after unloading 70+ pounds of children, a man told me the library closes at five.  I looked at my phone: 4:54.  I had 6 minutes.  Kiera sloppily ran in her galoshes noisily asking me why we were hurrying.  "So we can get some more books!"

Because reading is that important.

We happily trotted back to the car with a new Jan Thomas (our current favorite author) book and some other cat book that I grabbed as the librarian shook her head in disgust at me that I would have the audacity to come five minutes before closing.  

Kiera is 4 and she can read on a first grade level.  I know this because I tested her.  I am a teacher and just had to know what level she was reading at.  33 words per minute.  Kevin and I are so proud.  She has been reading since right before her fourth birthday, but lately she has completely figured it out and there isn't any word she won't try to read!

As we entered our home satisfied we at least grabbed two books, I walked into the kitchen to start dinner.  I asked Kiera to sit down and read me her new books and she did!  She contently sat there and tackled these brand new books.  I felt the corners of my mouth turn up into a sweet little smile.  This is what I dreamt mothering would be about.  I would happily make dinner while my younger children played and others sat around reading aloud.  It was simply music to my ears.  I  just had no idea the sweet lullaby of a child reading would come from a little four year old.

Some people ask me what I did to raise a reader.  Did you read to her in the womb?  No.  Did you teach her to read?  Not really.  I tutor on the side, so occassionally she asks to be tutored and we satisify her request, but not enough for her to grasp phonics and begin reading.  She is just a reader.  We couldn't stop her.  One thing we did do is raise her in a language rich house.  I began reading to Kiera throughout the day since birth.  It became part of her bedtime routine before 6 months. 

There is not a night that goes by that she doesn't get read to by Kevin or me.  Ever.  If we don't have a book, we recite one of her favorite books from memory:

Many times she chooses to cut her shower short so she can listen to the babies' books and then her own:

 

Many nights she will read half of her books to us and we finish up the rest when she gets tired of reading aloud.  Lately, this is what we find we check on her before we turn in:

I am so very proud of this little girl!  I know she will go far in life.  I am so happy we have taught her to have a love for reading.  I hope she is often found with her nose buried deep in a book!

Motherhood is not a hobby

Future Plans.

Kevin and I love to dream, discuss, and plan our future.  Up until now we couldn't really agree what our future entailed.  
Then out of nowhere it started coming together.  We got very excited.  Too excited.

It seemed the only way to fast forward the present into our amazing future was to send me back to work.

Full time.

Kevin did not pressure me or persuade me in this enormous decision, but he did leave it up to me.  I couldn't take my mind off the major decision.  But, none of it sat well with me.  Then two things happened. 

First, we heard on the radio that your needs SHOULD always outweigh your wants.  You never forsake a need such as food or shelter for a want.  We began to think our incredible future which was really just one giant want.  It was getting in the way of a very important need:  I need to stay home for my children.

Now before anyone gets their panties in a wad....
I know that staying home is NOT a need for everyone.  But it is for us.  It is extremely high on our priority list.  We have definately seen the benefits of our choices and sacrifices in our first daughter's development.  We owe it to the twins and any other child that might follow.
Stepping off stay at home mom soapbox....

Second, I read this article on one of my friends Facebook status'.  I concur 100%.  Being a mom is a calling.   I truly believe that and I beleive it is MY calling!  Two awesome quotes from the article:

Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.

 Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

That is all I needed to remind me of my priorities.  My future will happen, just not right now.  But it will definitely be worth the wait.  Anything Godly always is.

Cheesy no more

We finally got out of the cheesy smile stage.  What a beautiful girl!  She always was, it's just her cheesy grin distracted me!

Rough Month

July is a month I would rather forget.

The month started off with the bad news of baby #4 probably not being viable.  Days later, Kiera came down with Bronchial Pneumonia.
I should know after 4.5 years with this sweet little girl that when she is naughty for days and days, something is wrong.
I thought it was a virus.
Shortly after that, I got the stomach flu.  The next day the miscarriage started.
Happy that it happened on it's own without a D&C, but sad that it had all come to this.  Days later my WHOLE family started vomiting.  Any and everywhere.
I began to ask "Why God Why?  Why must one have a miscarriage and a family with the stomach flu all at the same time?"
The only answer I got was at least all the vomit took my mind of the fact that baby #4 was no longer with us.
I may say it was a blessing in disguise, but it's not.  It's horrible.  It's sad and ...

I just want this month to be over.

I thought about not writing this post.  Too sad.  But, my blog is for me and my family and our memories.  Even though this is a memory that will always be tough when recalled, it still should be recorded. 

I will better by the next post.  I promise.

24 hours on Island Time

is not long enough!   One must allow at least 36 to fully enjoy the idea of island time.

Kevin and I are lucky enough to know someone who owns their own private plane.  A big enough one to hold 6 passengers and actually fly somewhere cool in one tank.   

There's friends and then there's friends with planes...

Cleverly thinking, I told Eddie, our friendly pilot, that if he took Kevin and I somewhere we would do all the coordinating of the events.  Of course he agreed, so the planning begun.  We were going to go the Hill Country, but decided to try Mustang Island first.  Reason being, you can land at the small Port Aransas runway and there is a free courtesy car to use if you stay at Harbor Inn.  So, we thought for our first getaway (yes, we have a few planned with our new BFFs...) this sounded fun and easy!  

I thought 24 hours was long enough.  Leave at 12 noon on Sunday and return the same time on Monday.  24 hours of babysitting shouldn't break the bank and it was more than enough time away, right?  No!  The time flew by.  We didn't land until 2 and by 9 the next morning we were headed away from the hotel back to the plane.  Even though the time was too short, it was so much fun.  Eating without kids is just simply amazing!!! I highly recommend it!  The seafood was delicious and we laughed and drank until the sun started to set.   We went exploring around the island ended the night with even more seafood in our already full bellies.   The hotel was fun and quaint and didn't break the bank. 

A quite funny thing happened that we didn't even realize until we returned home.  When we landed, Eddie told us the courtesy car was a Subaru.  Right ahead of us were 2 red Subarus.  Each were unlocked and had the keys in the same place.  We chose the one on the right for no reason at all.  Turns out we spent 24 hours in a stolen car.  HA!  The hotel owned the other red Subaru.  How we were supposed to know this is beyond me.  Anyway we had fun on our crime spree and we happily returned the car with a full tank.  What kind of robbers do that?

The ride back was a tad bumpy and I had to concentrate not to decorate the inside of the plane with last night's dinner.  Dramamine will definately be on the itenary next time.  Kevin flew a great deal of the trip and even made the landing into West Houston Airport.   Even though he is a commercial pilot, I was a tad scared, but he did awesome.

We are already planning our next trip in a few months to the Hill Country for some wine!  Until then enjoy some pictures from our little getaway:

Eddie, Keri and me right before takeoff.

Nice wings, huh?

 The most handsomest co-pilot...my hubby!

 Me and Kevin at Virginia's...our first Seafood stop!

 Kevin and I outside our room: The Mustang!  See how relaxed we look?

 Our stolen car!

 Eddie and Keri...great party people!

 Eddie at the controls

 Teeny tiny cars down below

 Beautiful blue Gulf of Mexico from about 500 feet!

 Mustang Island from 500 feet above

 Port Aransas airport is in the upper left corner.  

Looks like a road in the middle of a field.

He loves me for who I am...

not for who I am not.

This morning as I undressed to take a shower, those oh so familiar feelings of disappointment enveloped me.

Disappointment in my body.

I wish I were thinner.

But, within seconds I was quickly reminded of what my body has done for me.

It housed three beautiful, smart and HEALTHY children.  Two of them at the same time.

It nursed three babies without any real problems.  Two of them are still taking some early morning ounces.

It surrounds a very giving heart of someone who chooses to stay home and raise three little children, but still finds time to give back to others who find themselves in unplanned pregnancies.

I have absolutely no reason to hate my body.

My husband doesn't and nor does my heavenly Father.   They love me for who I am, not who I am not.  Who am I to think any differently?

Bittersweet

Last Monday I found out I was pregnant. 

Pregnant.  Naturally.  No pills, no shots, no embryos being put back.

Just plain ole pregnant.

Pure Elation!

Kevin and I made a baby all on our own for FREE!!!

I had no idea how in the world we would take care of four children five and under but I didn't care.  We were pregnant.  I had life growing inside of me.

When I heard the due date I was even more excited.

February 12, 2012

The day Kevin and I had our first date in 2000.

The day I went into labor with the twins in 2010.

It was meant to be.  Straight from God, right?

The very next day a disturbing hormone level came back.  Too low for a 7 week pregnancy.

48 hours later the number rose, but not enough.  My OB mentioned Ectopic.

Devastation. 

I have been here before.  The emotional roller coaster of pregnancy.  I did not want to be here again.  But I did not have a choice.  I would fight for this baby.  I would die for this baby!

First ultrasound was last Friday.  All seems well.  Just a very early pregnancy.

Excitement.

Repeat bloodwork showed something is still not right.

Second ultrasound showed no growth and an empty sac.

Disappointment and relief.

I loved this child for the nine days I held him/her under my heart.  I prayed to God every second I thought about it, even though I had an idea something was not right.  I am glad to be off the roller coaster.  The constant ups and downs were too much for me right now.  Yesterday, I was angry at God (something very new to me!) for throwing me this kind of heartache after I had been through so much to get my other three kids.

My other three kids.  Ouch.  Just a little reminder that there was indeed another one.  We had even picked out names which we will keep to ourselves.

I went to bed and dreamt about a beautiful colorful bird all night long.  I have never dreamt about a bird.  When I googled the symbolism, I was shocked:
To see birds in your dream, symbolize your goals, aspirations and hopes. To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represent joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

I am not sure what will happen next.  I have not miscarried yet, but have stopped all medication.  My OB is pressing D&C.  I am just not ready yet.  I want to see what my body can do on it's own first.  Hopefully it will take care of the failed pregnancy without any medical intervention.
I don't know what the future holds for Kevin and I as far as anymore children, but I am now at peace with the way this one has come and gone from our life.  I am not mad at God anymore.  I don't understand why we had to endure this at this time, but I am thankful it did come at a time like this rather than at a time we were really trying to grow our family.  God works in mysterious ways like that sometimes.  I will forever remember that 24 hour feeling of elation that I had that yes, I could indeed get pregnant on my own without any medical intervention.

God must have needed an angel in heaven.  I am glad he took one I hadn't yet met.  Things can always be worse, I suppose.

Last night as I lay with my oldest, she told me "You are the goodest mommy ever!"  Those six little words right there gave me the strength to carry on.