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Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween
A cute little puppy:
A ornery little giraffe:
and one sick little Bear
set out to see how much candy they could get!
First stop, our awesome neighbors, Chris and Jerry.
The difference between twins:
One sees what is put in his bucket and even gave it back as if it disrupted his bucket...
the other heads out and eats everything she is given (on the way!), wrapper and all:
The former refuses to carry a bucket. Apparently he is on a nightly stroll instead.
but at last they make it to their first only door together. After that, the littles went into the stroller and Kiera and me collected candy for them.
All the animals had fun but were quite tuckered out at the end of the night!
I am sure part of their exhaustion was because this was their second Halloween celebration. The first was at their school during Trunk or Treat this past Thursday. Once the twins saw me, they couldn't really keep it together. Kiera, on the other hand had a blast and racked up the candy!
As we close one season of fun, scary, and dress up we head into my favorite time of year~ November! A month of thankfulness! I am thankful for all my readers! I enjoy writing to you!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
The Silver Lining
If emergency rooms had punch cards I'd be well on my way to a free visit. I have been a patient there three times in six weeks. The first two times we thought it was a food allergy because of the timing. The third time it happened in the middle of the night and no I was not up having a midnight snack. Unfortunately, the third time, Kevin was at work and so I had to impose on my sweet neighbors. I asked Chris to babysit the kids while Jerry took me to the ER. I had to use my Epipen and even considered calling 911- that is how poorly I felt.
The itching starts in my underwear and then goes to the back of my head. Weird, I know. Then my face starts to swell and my ears itch like crazy. The worst feeling is when it feels like my skin starts to crawl. It is a horrible feeling to literally itch all over and be scared all at the same time. The first time I required an Epipen, steriods, benadryl, Pepcid, and a breathing treatment. They say each subsequent time you come into contact with the allergen it could be more severe. Having that hanging over your head when the itching starts, sort of feels like a death sentence.
But, once I get the Epipen and the steroid combination, I am good to go. It is amazing how good steroids make you feel and then add a little epinephrine on top of that....ooooh la la!
This past Friday, I was sound asleep in my bed when the itching started. I glanced at the clock to see it is 3 am. Once the itching moved to my head, I got up and took one Bendryl and grabbed the Epipen just in case. Then Brie started crying. I figured I just stirred her, so I let her cry it out. The itching continued and worsened, so I took another. I tried to lay down and let it kick in, but the pulse in my ears and the swelling in my face began to concern me. Brie continued to cry on and off. I called Kevin who was inconveniently sleeping in Newark, NJ to see what he thought I should do. He told me to take another Benadyrl and make a decision about the ER in the next 20 minutes. I just love how he can speak so soundly in a dead sleep. I guess that is the captain in him. After about 5 minutes, I had called the neighbors and when the nausea and feeling of passing out occured I took the Epipen. Brie was still crying. I knew she was not comforted by Chris, but I had no choice but to leave her and take care of myself.
Upon my return, I heard the sweetest little tale of my daughters. Soon after I left, Kiera woke up and went to my room. When she saw I was gone, she called out for me. Chris went up there and explained to her what happened. She told her she could crawl into my bed and sleep there. Then Brie started crying again. Chris went to get her and brought her downstairs. I was told she went to the door and began calling out Mama, Mama. Chris was unable to comfort her, so she asked if she wanted to go lay with Kiera. She stopped crying, so Chris took that as a yes and brought her to my room. Kiera opened her arms for her little sister and said, "Sissy, are you sad?" She cuddled her and got her back to sleep. Imagine my heart when I returned to my bed only to see my sweet little girls curled up together sound asleep. Had I not been through so much, I most certainly would have grabbed the camera and frozen the moment forever. I am so blessed to have such sweet little girls that care so much for each other.
And, I think I may have figured out the culprit....some new make-up. I pray I am right!
The itching starts in my underwear and then goes to the back of my head. Weird, I know. Then my face starts to swell and my ears itch like crazy. The worst feeling is when it feels like my skin starts to crawl. It is a horrible feeling to literally itch all over and be scared all at the same time. The first time I required an Epipen, steriods, benadryl, Pepcid, and a breathing treatment. They say each subsequent time you come into contact with the allergen it could be more severe. Having that hanging over your head when the itching starts, sort of feels like a death sentence.
But, once I get the Epipen and the steroid combination, I am good to go. It is amazing how good steroids make you feel and then add a little epinephrine on top of that....ooooh la la!
This past Friday, I was sound asleep in my bed when the itching started. I glanced at the clock to see it is 3 am. Once the itching moved to my head, I got up and took one Bendryl and grabbed the Epipen just in case. Then Brie started crying. I figured I just stirred her, so I let her cry it out. The itching continued and worsened, so I took another. I tried to lay down and let it kick in, but the pulse in my ears and the swelling in my face began to concern me. Brie continued to cry on and off. I called Kevin who was inconveniently sleeping in Newark, NJ to see what he thought I should do. He told me to take another Benadyrl and make a decision about the ER in the next 20 minutes. I just love how he can speak so soundly in a dead sleep. I guess that is the captain in him. After about 5 minutes, I had called the neighbors and when the nausea and feeling of passing out occured I took the Epipen. Brie was still crying. I knew she was not comforted by Chris, but I had no choice but to leave her and take care of myself.
Upon my return, I heard the sweetest little tale of my daughters. Soon after I left, Kiera woke up and went to my room. When she saw I was gone, she called out for me. Chris went up there and explained to her what happened. She told her she could crawl into my bed and sleep there. Then Brie started crying again. Chris went to get her and brought her downstairs. I was told she went to the door and began calling out Mama, Mama. Chris was unable to comfort her, so she asked if she wanted to go lay with Kiera. She stopped crying, so Chris took that as a yes and brought her to my room. Kiera opened her arms for her little sister and said, "Sissy, are you sad?" She cuddled her and got her back to sleep. Imagine my heart when I returned to my bed only to see my sweet little girls curled up together sound asleep. Had I not been through so much, I most certainly would have grabbed the camera and frozen the moment forever. I am so blessed to have such sweet little girls that care so much for each other.
And, I think I may have figured out the culprit....some new make-up. I pray I am right!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Rough Month
July is a month I would rather forget.
The month started off with the bad news of baby #4 probably not being viable. Days later, Kiera came down with Bronchial Pneumonia.
I should know after 4.5 years with this sweet little girl that when she is naughty for days and days, something is wrong.
I thought it was a virus.
Shortly after that, I got the stomach flu. The next day the miscarriage started.
Happy that it happened on it's own without a D&C, but sad that it had all come to this. Days later my WHOLE family started vomiting. Any and everywhere.
I began to ask "Why God Why? Why must one have a miscarriage and a family with the stomach flu all at the same time?"
The only answer I got was at least all the vomit took my mind of the fact that baby #4 was no longer with us.
I may say it was a blessing in disguise, but it's not. It's horrible. It's sad and ...
I just want this month to be over.
I thought about not writing this post. Too sad. But, my blog is for me and my family and our memories. Even though this is a memory that will always be tough when recalled, it still should be recorded.
I will better by the next post. I promise.
The month started off with the bad news of baby #4 probably not being viable. Days later, Kiera came down with Bronchial Pneumonia.
I should know after 4.5 years with this sweet little girl that when she is naughty for days and days, something is wrong.
I thought it was a virus.
Shortly after that, I got the stomach flu. The next day the miscarriage started.
Happy that it happened on it's own without a D&C, but sad that it had all come to this. Days later my WHOLE family started vomiting. Any and everywhere.
I began to ask "Why God Why? Why must one have a miscarriage and a family with the stomach flu all at the same time?"
The only answer I got was at least all the vomit took my mind of the fact that baby #4 was no longer with us.
I may say it was a blessing in disguise, but it's not. It's horrible. It's sad and ...
I just want this month to be over.
I thought about not writing this post. Too sad. But, my blog is for me and my family and our memories. Even though this is a memory that will always be tough when recalled, it still should be recorded.
I will better by the next post. I promise.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Bittersweet
Last Monday I found out I was pregnant.
Pregnant. Naturally. No pills, no shots, no embryos being put back.
Just plain ole pregnant.
Pure Elation!
Kevin and I made a baby all on our own for FREE!!!
I had no idea how in the world we would take care of four children five and under but I didn't care. We were pregnant. I had life growing inside of me.
When I heard the due date I was even more excited.
February 12, 2012
The day Kevin and I had our first date in 2000.
The day I went into labor with the twins in 2010.
It was meant to be. Straight from God, right?
The very next day a disturbing hormone level came back. Too low for a 7 week pregnancy.
48 hours later the number rose, but not enough. My OB mentioned Ectopic.
Devastation.
I have been here before. The emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. I did not want to be here again. But I did not have a choice. I would fight for this baby. I would die for this baby!
First ultrasound was last Friday. All seems well. Just a very early pregnancy.
Excitement.
Repeat bloodwork showed something is still not right.
Second ultrasound showed no growth and an empty sac.
Disappointment and relief.
I loved this child for the nine days I held him/her under my heart. I prayed to God every second I thought about it, even though I had an idea something was not right. I am glad to be off the roller coaster. The constant ups and downs were too much for me right now. Yesterday, I was angry at God (something very new to me!) for throwing me this kind of heartache after I had been through so much to get my other three kids.
My other three kids. Ouch. Just a little reminder that there was indeed another one. We had even picked out names which we will keep to ourselves.
I went to bed and dreamt about a beautiful colorful bird all night long. I have never dreamt about a bird. When I googled the symbolism, I was shocked:
To see birds in your dream, symbolize your goals, aspirations and hopes. To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represent joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
I am not sure what will happen next. I have not miscarried yet, but have stopped all medication. My OB is pressing D&C. I am just not ready yet. I want to see what my body can do on it's own first. Hopefully it will take care of the failed pregnancy without any medical intervention.
I don't know what the future holds for Kevin and I as far as anymore children, but I am now at peace with the way this one has come and gone from our life. I am not mad at God anymore. I don't understand why we had to endure this at this time, but I am thankful it did come at a time like this rather than at a time we were really trying to grow our family. God works in mysterious ways like that sometimes. I will forever remember that 24 hour feeling of elation that I had that yes, I could indeed get pregnant on my own without any medical intervention.
God must have needed an angel in heaven. I am glad he took one I hadn't yet met. Things can always be worse, I suppose.
Last night as I lay with my oldest, she told me "You are the goodest mommy ever!" Those six little words right there gave me the strength to carry on.
Pregnant. Naturally. No pills, no shots, no embryos being put back.
Just plain ole pregnant.
Pure Elation!
Kevin and I made a baby all on our own for FREE!!!
I had no idea how in the world we would take care of four children five and under but I didn't care. We were pregnant. I had life growing inside of me.
When I heard the due date I was even more excited.
February 12, 2012
The day Kevin and I had our first date in 2000.
The day I went into labor with the twins in 2010.
It was meant to be. Straight from God, right?
The very next day a disturbing hormone level came back. Too low for a 7 week pregnancy.
48 hours later the number rose, but not enough. My OB mentioned Ectopic.
Devastation.
I have been here before. The emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. I did not want to be here again. But I did not have a choice. I would fight for this baby. I would die for this baby!
First ultrasound was last Friday. All seems well. Just a very early pregnancy.
Excitement.
Repeat bloodwork showed something is still not right.
Second ultrasound showed no growth and an empty sac.
Disappointment and relief.
I loved this child for the nine days I held him/her under my heart. I prayed to God every second I thought about it, even though I had an idea something was not right. I am glad to be off the roller coaster. The constant ups and downs were too much for me right now. Yesterday, I was angry at God (something very new to me!) for throwing me this kind of heartache after I had been through so much to get my other three kids.
My other three kids. Ouch. Just a little reminder that there was indeed another one. We had even picked out names which we will keep to ourselves.
I went to bed and dreamt about a beautiful colorful bird all night long. I have never dreamt about a bird. When I googled the symbolism, I was shocked:
To see birds in your dream, symbolize your goals, aspirations and hopes. To dream of chirping and/or flying birds, represent joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
I am not sure what will happen next. I have not miscarried yet, but have stopped all medication. My OB is pressing D&C. I am just not ready yet. I want to see what my body can do on it's own first. Hopefully it will take care of the failed pregnancy without any medical intervention.
I don't know what the future holds for Kevin and I as far as anymore children, but I am now at peace with the way this one has come and gone from our life. I am not mad at God anymore. I don't understand why we had to endure this at this time, but I am thankful it did come at a time like this rather than at a time we were really trying to grow our family. God works in mysterious ways like that sometimes. I will forever remember that 24 hour feeling of elation that I had that yes, I could indeed get pregnant on my own without any medical intervention.
God must have needed an angel in heaven. I am glad he took one I hadn't yet met. Things can always be worse, I suppose.
Last night as I lay with my oldest, she told me "You are the goodest mommy ever!" Those six little words right there gave me the strength to carry on.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I love her the mostest!
Quantifying my love is not something I do, but incorrect grammar set aside, I love my sister the mostest.
The endearing term started when I attended college back in the day when people still put pens to paper and licked stamps in order to let others know they were loved or even merely a thought of,
I remember the days vividly of going to my dorm mailbox hoping for a stray care package anxiously awaiting my arrival. Although I was the lucky recipient of quite a few of those fun little treats, I was equally excited to get a letter from my sister. She was quite the writer and did a fantastic job of keeping me in the loop of all her happenings. And she always signed her letters the same:
I love you the mostest.
As I take a wonderful walk down memory lane, I am sadly reminded of why I am telling you this story. My sister is laid up in a hospital on a holiday weekend waiting to feel better. She is a private person and would certainly not appreciate me telling her story on my blog, so I will keep the details short.
She has had a rough year with her husband being stationed overseas and her oldest boy learning to live with Celiac disease. While she so busily took care of everyone else, she neglected herself. An ulcer took up residence in her belly and has caused nothing short of complete havoc. She is now awaiting surgery to see if the doctors can undo some of what the ulcer did.
I am on my way to see her. I hope just my presence is a mere lift to her spirits. I enjoy my time with my sister. If we weren't related, I would choose her as a friend. She is a good listener, very helpful and dependable and extremely loving. I honestly do love her the mostest right back!
The endearing term started when I attended college back in the day when people still put pens to paper and licked stamps in order to let others know they were loved or even merely a thought of,
I remember the days vividly of going to my dorm mailbox hoping for a stray care package anxiously awaiting my arrival. Although I was the lucky recipient of quite a few of those fun little treats, I was equally excited to get a letter from my sister. She was quite the writer and did a fantastic job of keeping me in the loop of all her happenings. And she always signed her letters the same:
I love you the mostest.
As I take a wonderful walk down memory lane, I am sadly reminded of why I am telling you this story. My sister is laid up in a hospital on a holiday weekend waiting to feel better. She is a private person and would certainly not appreciate me telling her story on my blog, so I will keep the details short.
She has had a rough year with her husband being stationed overseas and her oldest boy learning to live with Celiac disease. While she so busily took care of everyone else, she neglected herself. An ulcer took up residence in her belly and has caused nothing short of complete havoc. She is now awaiting surgery to see if the doctors can undo some of what the ulcer did.
I am on my way to see her. I hope just my presence is a mere lift to her spirits. I enjoy my time with my sister. If we weren't related, I would choose her as a friend. She is a good listener, very helpful and dependable and extremely loving. I honestly do love her the mostest right back!
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